- j. oshodi

I am teetering between crippling self-awareness and “there’s something seriously wrong with me”. It’s so exhausting being hyper aware of everything I do and say. I can’t help but analyze my every move. I have anxiety to thank for that. But then again I also think there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe wrong is the wrong word.

I hate that I can never get a break from my thoughts. I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way, it’s just that my mind is constantly racing all day every day. And frankly, it’s taxing. I am always worried about one thing or another, or hyper fixating on something I said/did. I just wish I could turn it all off and just exist. Exist without apprehension or rumination.

rumination

Written May 12, 2024

Ink & Style

New York, NY, United States